Why do we sometimes struggle to be the bigger person? Why do I find it hard to simply let things be and choose the right thing to do? When we feel hurt or disrespected, we let our emotions take over. This basically makes it difficult to respond thoughtfully. Sometimes when I hear someone talk about me, my reaction is literally to just get back at them or respond in a mean way. And for what reason? What good does that even do? I mean come on lets really think about it. Instead of pausing to process and reflect, the immediate urge and reaction comes from a place of anger or frustration. This reaction can cloud our judgement and prevent us from taking the higher road. And trust me, I know how hard it is to sometimes just take the high road and ignore someones negative behavior.
Along with that, we struggle to be the bigger person because we want others to know the hurt we felt or understand how they were wrong. We also all just crave justice and feel the need to get even. Don't sit there reading this right now and think "um none of this applies to me" because I caught you, don't lie. We have all felt this in our lives. It's hard. Really hard. We just feel the need to restore balance by the idea of "getting back" at someone. That doesn't resolve any conflict in the end. Truly. At young ages, not everyone has developed the emotional tools to navigate tough situations with grace. When someone doesn't learn how to manage their emotions, it can be hard to stay calm. In other scenarios, let's say you heard that a few girls were talking about you at the lunch table at school the other day. They said something untrue and frustrating to you. Something you felt like they didn't even have a place in saying. What do you do? These girls are talking about you? Saying things that hurt you or things that are negative. Do you go up to them and respond with anger? Do you post on social media such as Tik Tok to get them to see your post aiming towards them? The answer is to simply let them. That is my best advice. Let Them. You can't go wrong with that. You have to have the mentality that no one knows you. Yes, people may know you. But they don't KNOW you. Responding with anger or a stupid social media post targeting them won't do you any good or even make you feel at peace. Trust me, you will feel so much better and more peaceful once you learn to just let things be. Let them talk about you, let them say untrue things, they obviously either have something going on in their life, surrounded themselves with the wrong group of people, or just simply say things to make themselves feel better. Now that last one is just insecurity but we'll discuss that later. In all, don't give someone what they want, and what they want is to watch you fall apart.
Being the bigger person doesn't mean posting on social media to get back at someone, it doesn't mean texting/telling other people negative things about someone, and it doesn't responding with anger because of their own problem. What someone does or says to or about you is NOT YOUR PROBLEM. It's a them issue. I promise you. You are better off leaving the situation be and showing them you are no where near affected by what they have to say. Why let it affect you? You know deep down whatever it is wasn't your fault or it isn't true. Let them and let it be. Carry on and live your life, positively and freely. They may be against you, but you are not against them. Respond with love, kindness, and most of all grace. Responding with grace is more beneficial in the long run. Take your frustration and go on a run, read a book, color, watch your favorite show, learn to play an instrument. Do it for yourself and let it be. Life goes on, nobody will think about these things later on, was it really that big of a problem? Don't let stupid things affect you. If anything, let it motivate you. You are better off. In order to be the bigger person you have to overcome mental challenges, and even though it isn't easy, it is a choice that can bring you peace, maturity and strength.
So let them post about you, let them talk about you behind your back, let them start rumors, let them exclude you, let them repost Tik Toks about you, let them laugh at you, let them call you names. Your most greatest response is love and kindness. Who looks like the bigger person in these scenarios because I know for a face it isn't those people. We all aren't perfect and all of us have definitely been guilty of responding with anger and hatred rather than love, I know I have. This is something to grow through and learn along the way! So never feel like you're alone in that department.
Thank you for reading! If you read this far make sure to come back for my other posts! Lastly, always feel free to reach out!
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